Spanish or English: A Matter of Choice? (Conclusion)

When it comes to languages, a shift in preference has invariably meant a significant shift in my identity. And during this last stage of my journey, I’ve been blessed to have my wife, Erinn, at my side. She’s a fully bilingual person who’s acutely aware of the important role that Spanish and English play in my life.

In fact, it was Erinn who encouraged me to leave the United States for Central America. (Most of our friends thought it was sheer madness for me to give up a tenured teaching position at a university for the uncertainty of ever being able to earn a decent living again). But it is in this part of the world, first in Nicaragua, and now in Panama, that I’ve become one with the two beings—the English and Spanish-speaking ones—that dwell within me.

The ten years since we moved here have passed by swiftly. There have been many difficult moments—economically, at first, and, surprisingly, with my being able to readjust to a culture in which I once felt completely at home. But today I can honestly say that my life has never felt more balanced, more centered.

More importantly, thanks to this move I’ve fulfilled my dream of becoming a published novelist—in the United States and in English. The stories that I choose to write about are here for the taking: all I need to do is to keep my eyes and ears open. In fact, tales that touch my soul seem to be in infinite supply and I now lament, every day, not having enough years left on this earth to tell them all.

Living in Central America inspires the writer within me. Moreover, I get to retrieve these stores that were lived in Spanish and render them in English, just like Julia Alvarez, one of my literary heroes, does in In the Time of the Butterflies and in In the Name of Salomé. Thus, when I write a novel I work almost equally in both languages: I conduct the research—the most fun part of writing a book—in Spanish, and I write—the more technical aspect—in English.

After all these reminiscences, I now find myself back to the starting point of this piece, the question a ninth-grade student asked me: “Dr. Sirias, which language do you prefer, English or Spanish?”

Well, to that student I’d now simply answer: "It depends on what leg of the journey I was on, but in the present stage, I prefer to live in Spanish, and write in English."